Life is full of unexpected things I know but I'd never expected this kind of bad fortune to us.
We found each other. That time u told me that I was waiting for u at JayGee n u were looking for me around the singapore. We told each other why we took so long to meet each other. And we were happy talking all these. And yes! We loved each other. Yes we did!
"To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy..." - Guido In life, most of the people do not want to be lonely. Especially when you are in society, you may not able to survive alone. You need to associate with people and things around you. Sometimes you need to associate with some people because you should be. But most of the time, you can pick up who you want to be friend with. To get a real and good friend, it depends on your own luck. In my life, i have a lots of good friends also bad friends. I do not care if they are good or bad. I will be with them together regardless of what they are. Because people are not perfect. Good and bad are always there with everything. Me, myself also full of those. But instead of getting a good friend, i want the real friends and i want to be good to them. If they are good one, i will listen what they advise and follow. If they are bad one, i want to try my best to correct them. Some may like it. Some may not. Of course i knew it.
Being a naturally emotional person, i get hurt whenever my beloved people misunderstand me. I know that I'm so bad in showing my love and care to them. I also know that i'm not a smart person. But i always tried my best to share my knowledge whenever necessary. They can be the outdated ideas. And also too hard to adaptable in nowadays society. But all are for the sake of their goods. I can swear it.
i know i love my friends. Friendship, the word means to me a lot. Sharing. . Caring . . Understanding . . Sympathy . . Empathy . . Love . . Respect . . Kind . . Trust . . Desire what is the best for each other . . Most importantly, Happiness . . I do not expect my friends to be perfect . . I know i cannot be a perfect one to anyone also. But i want to give the most important thing to them which is Happiness. I do not want them to get hurt and unhappy because of me. But i cannot let them be in wrong way too. Sometimes, i feel so confused with myself. But i sincerely want my friends to be happy. I do not want to be a burden for my friends. If they are happier in life without me, i will go away. Yes!!! I will definitely go away !!! Today is really a remarkable day for me. It is not the first time I cry for a friend. But i feel so sad because who was that friend. I love her more than a friend. I care her more than my own sisters. I decided not to give up on her no matter what happen. But i cannot give her happiness that she wants. I feel so fail to be as a buddy. I feel really really sad. So NOW is the Time to . . .
Maybe it could be just a dramatically unrealistic love for some time . .
Like any other love birds, i did have my first crush when i was 16 years old at high school.
I do not know if you can believe the fact about that my FC (He) did not even realize that i had some feeling for him. It was such a disappointed, hopeless and secret love that i had ever have for first time in my life.
I wrote his initial of his name in a lot of my things even on my ruler . . Some friend of mine asked me so many times for that name but i managed to keep it secret until today . . :D
Name . .
DOB . .
Roll No . .
Everything about him was my motivation to go to school.
Just imagine that knowing the person who sit next to you in the exam room turned out to be ur first crush? Trust me, it can make u have the hardest exam u had ever have. I did experience the hardest exam at that time not because of the exam questions, all because of knowing he could not answer the questions well and yet I could not help him at all. U know that kind of feeling? Heizzz. . Let it be . . haha . .
Secretly became an investigation officer just to know his address and enjoyed wondering where the place would be. . I always looked for the street that he lived whenever I passed by the area. Stupidity can go beyond your imagination, rt? :D
After 1 year, sad to know that he was chasing another girl and all my dreams had ruined.
Maybe it was time for me to wake up from my boundaries-less dreams.
Sad but accepted the true facts.
Memories normally do not attach to me that much and also i have not much rooms in my brain to keep them.
I did forget to remember all those sweet and cute memories for 10 years and, tonight, he just comes across to my mind.
I am wondering where is he now and how is everything with him . .
Also would like to say "Thank you for being my first crush and made my days beautiful".